Threads of goodness, and a glimpse of a plan.
- Elisabeth Bennett
- Nov 27, 2017
- 3 min read

“God is good, all of the time, all of the time God is good”
These were the lyrics of a song we sang in church today, and as the words left my mouth I wondered if I really believed it. Today was the due date of the baby I lost 32 weeks ago. This last week I had to taste the bitterness of a broken relationship. This season I miss the family we left this summer knowing they don’t understand our choice. This year I’ve felt heartache, anger, fear, bitter disappointment, and as wave after wave of grief hit I wondered how God could possibly use “this”. I know you can understand at least one of those feelings, because we all live in this broken world. Bad things happen, people don’t react how we want them to, and sometimes the right decision feels anything but. I think of the story of Joseph (the technicolored dream coat one) and how his life took turn after turn for the worse. He was hated by his own brothers, sold into slavery, and thrown in jail for something he didn’t do. If you haven’t read the whole story a quick look at Genesis 37, 39-45 will do, but when Joseph talks to his brothers near the end of the story he said. “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” (Genesis 50:20 ESV) Maybe you’re waiting for a Joseph moment, when you can look back and your pain makes sense. I know I am, but even when I’m waiting in a mess I’ve had peace that God won’t let any of my suffering go to waste. In the midst of not understanding I still can see threads of Gods goodness, and perhaps glimpses of a plan. I’m now pregnant for the second time, and although loosing one baby then finding myself in that terrifying first trimester all over again felt like a form of torture. I know that God has a plan to have the child that He wants here, here.

I can see that the reality of loosing a child (something I’d never wish on anyone) has given me a perspective on who this child really belongs to. During this second pregnancy I’ve whispered to myself 100s of times: “God loves this baby more than I do.” That fact doesn’t mean I get to hold this baby, but it does me that I can trust the God who already knows exactly how many times this child’s heart will beat. Standing up for myself, and the way I’ve been treated has shown me just how much God can help me be brave. Even when brave means crying all the way home, even when brave means having dagger like words thrown at you by someone you should be able to trust, and even when brave means saying no more. God is there, and He makes me brave when I KNOW I’m not capable of being brave. Going through the painful process of leaving a place that was home. Has shown me that love and forgiveness can be given, but not felt. And yeah...still waiting for a Joseph moment on that one. So in conclusion, I can honestly say that God was good even in the hardest moments, He is good right here and right now, and He will always be good. “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.” (Psalms 136:1 ESV) “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8 ESV) “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13 ESV) A couple of resources about Gods work in our suffering:
Article:
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/god-brings-us-suffering-for-others-sake Sermon:https:
//itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mark-driscoll-audio/id179237854?mt=2&i=1000393548671 Song:
https://youtu.be/c3CDUnHpP7g
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